


put your emptiness to melody

by spiaem



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Not Canon Compliant, Other, after the s1 finale, i was clearing out my drafts and found this, idk i guess, thats what universe this takes place in, the one where juno n peter did long distance, u know that alt universe we all made
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 12:08:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21036005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiaem/pseuds/spiaem
Summary: What is the difference between a thief and a god?It’s a trick question, really.





	put your emptiness to melody

**Author's Note:**

> the title is, of course, from [a hozier song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eUFtrQvsBc)
> 
> i was clearing out my drafts and found this. i have no idea when i wrote it.

Peter Nureyev is a god.

It’s almost a foreign concept to him. It does not seem like too long ago that he was a mere child, roaming the streets, fighting for his life. Sometimes, he thinks that the muck of poverty still follows him. There are certainly instincts that he developed on the streets that have become ingrained in his behavior, stitched into the fabric of his soul, sewn with thread that can never be broken. Never waste anything, a voice in his mind tells him. Step lightly, but make sure that your fingers are lighter. Above all, make sure that no one ever sees your face.

Being recognized is a weakness.

_We are like gods,_ a homely voice tells him, when he is ten and wants nothing more than a stable home. _We are heroes. After all, what would our people do without us? We are liberation, to them, and what is the difference between a liberator and a hero?_

_What is the difference between a thief and a god?_

It’s a trick question, really. There is no difference between a thief and a god.

Rather, there is no difference that matters. Peter is in possession of a different kind of immortality than that of gods. He has the benefit of being more tangible. He may not be remembered by name, but he _will_ be remembered. Someone will recall a smile so sharp that it seemed almost feral, while another would reminisce about a voice that was almost hypnotic, and, still, there would be hundreds of shopkeepers who would miss the wares that were no longer in their possession. 

He slips into other people's lives and personalities like he’s switching between his favorite coats. He feels like a god, with the ultimate freedom that he never has to give up. The furthest reaches of the universe are not foreign to him. He has lived a million lives and he will live a million more. It is just his nature.

Peter is vindictive like a god. It is not something he is proud of. He hurts people easily, whether it be on a physical level or otherwise, and he does not feel remorse for it. _Do what has to be done._

There are times, though, when he doesn’t feel like a god. There are times when he feels _human_. So human it hurts. There are times when a quick smile could make Peter throw away the life that he’s worked so hard to cultivate.

Juno Steel’s smile does not come quickly, but Peter is human around him anyway. Juno is so fiercely rough and humble and kind that Peter wishes he had the privilege of worshipping him in the ways that Peter has been worshipped in the past. A thief and a god are one and the same, but a god compared to Juno is _nothing_. Peter never admits that, though. Their relationship, in the beginning, does not allow for that type of admission -- the type of that nests in the space between his lungs, the type that becomes heavy with fear and excitement every time he sees Juno. The type that reminds him of his own mortality.

They’re in bed together. The neon lights of the street outside of Juno’s window are making a pattern on the wall that Peter has been staring at for far too long. He’s playing big spoon, and his fingers are interlocked with Juno’s in a way that’s almost domestic. Juno is still awake; Peter can tell by the way Juno’s thumb is rubbing against his own, one of the single points of contact they’re sharing out of a million.

“What’s the difference,” Peter says, quietly, almost whispering. He is reverantal, almost praying, and his lips are hovering over the back of Juno’s neck. Juno’s thumb stops. “Between a thief and a god?”

Juno turns towards him, slightly, so that Peter can see him in profile. Juno is not conventionally handsome; his nose has been broken a time too many, and there are lines on his face that come with stress, and there is a touch of gray at his temples. Peter still believes that Juno Steel is the most ethereal man that he has ever met. “Is this some sort of question like the raven and the writing desk thing? Like that old Earth story?” His voice is raspy in a way that makes Peter feel at home.

Peter pauses a moment before he responds. “I just have a feeling, Juno, that out of anyone I could ask, you would have the answer,” He replies.

Juno scrunches his face up, and thinks for a minute. “Okay, Nureyev, I give. What’s the difference?”

Peter smiles, "Oh, detective, it's not that simple."

He can barely see Juno roll his eye with how dark it is, but he sees it all the same. Juno turns back to the way he was laying before Peter broke the silence, and Peter is once again met with the back of Juno’s neck. He kisses it just because he can. 

The moment stretches on. Peter almost falls asleep, until Juno’s voice picks back up. “The difference,” Juno carefully intones, as if he’s talking to a scared animal, “is that a god wouldn’t care. You do.” 

Juno turns around in bed, so that he and Peter are facing. “Wise words, detective,” Peter replies, because he does not know what to say. His hand shakes where it rests on Juno’s hip. This has become a type of moment that holds weight.

Juno is looking at his face, carefully tracing his expression. “Peter,” Juno says, after a few heartbeats. Peter’s voice catches in his throat. “What’s wrong?”  
Peter does not respond instantly. He closes his eyes, so he doesn’t have to look at Juno’s face as he says, “Gods are remembered, Juno.” His eyes drift open. “When I die -- don’t make that face, Juno, dear -- I will be forgotten. It is a fact. It would be impossible for me to be remembered. Peter Nureyev died young.”

“What would you want to be remembered for?” Juno asks, and it sounds more like a legitimate question than scorn, so Peter takes time to think about it.

“If anything,” Peter says, “loving you.”

Peter Nureyev is not a god. Peter Nureyev is human, and tangible in a way that only humans can be. So, when Juno takes his face into his hands and kisses him in a way that makes Peter think of soft, soft love, Peter does not complain.


End file.
